Hello! How was your previous week?

Let’s get to today’s topic which is a common experience among Nigerian brides talking about what they face and how they are been turned into slaves in their in laws home.

Take a look at this scenario.

A married woman will go to her parent’s home with her husband for a short visit, after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start running around to make sure their son in-law is comfortable.

He will be well fed, well entertained and well taken care of.

No one expects him to lift a finger to do anything, because he is a special guest, their daughter’s husband.

Turn the table.

A married man goes to his parent’s home with his wife for a short visit, immediately after exchanging pleasantries, everyone will start looking at their son’s wife with corner eye to see if she’ll go to the kitchen and join in cooking.

She will sometimes be expected to take over the cooking and serve everyone, with a broad smile on her face.

After meal, they will be watching her to see if she will clear the table, wash the plates and clean the kitchen.

No one gives her any special treatment like the special guest she is. Afterall who is she?

An ordinary woman!

If she doesn’t do any of the chores expected of her, her mother in-law will start ‘beefing’ her and may become hostile towards her.

Her sister in-law will start grumbling and sometimes become outright rude to her.

She will be called for a meeting, her home training will be questioned and her wife material length measured.

She will be berated, called lazy, mannerless and all sorts of derogatory names.

Her husband will even be chastised for not controlling and disciplining his wife enough. She may most likely leave her in-law’s home sad, physically and emotionally drained.

What was meant to be a short vacation or visit eventually turns out to be hard labour filled with misery, tears and regrets.

My annoyance is that it’s always women making life uncomfortable and miserable for their fellow women in cases like this.

It’s always women who encourage or make excuses for men who go out of their way to hurt or harass their fellow women . It’s always women putting unnecessary pressure on their fellow women. It’s always women who are the gatekeepers of patriarchy.

It’s always women!!!!

Can’t a woman visit her in-laws and be treated special for the few hours or days she will stay, just like we do to our sons in-law when they visit us?

Take it or leave it, most married women in our society would rather spend holidays with their own family than with their in-laws, because of the above reasons.

Good riddance to double standards! Shame! Shame !! Shame!!!.

The other day, I read a lady complaining that her mother was sweeping and her brother’s wife didn’t collect the broom from her to continue the sweeping .

Meanwhile, her other siblings were there too but she felt it was mandatory for her brother’s wife to help her mom isn’t that funny?

Another day I stumbled on a post where a lady was complaining that her sister in law visited and didn’t enter the kitchen to cook like she was their actual chef or what ?

Please who was cooking for them before the sister in law came ?

Would she have said so if it was her sister’s husband that visited ?.

When I see these posts and the stupid comments on it I get angry and really mad.

I hate double standards and I keep having double mind on marriages because I don’t think I will work in my husband’s house , take care of my kids and attend to work at the same time then I’m expected to be a slave in my in laws house .

Well before going in to marriage think about it deeply and set your standards.

I pray this stops and brides will have a good and peaceful life to live .

PS: Birthday in 8 days πŸŽ‚πŸ’ƒ

Enjoy your week and don’t forget to drop your comments and share β€οΈπŸ‡

Hello, welcome to the Vineyard and lets tour while I sharpen the blades of my pen through writing.


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