We are all familiar with the word ‘HURT’. HURT is a feeling we are all been acquainted with one way or the other from our tender ages up till this moment. You get hurt anywhere and by anyone. From people you do not expect it from and surprisingly those who you could never say could hurt you. It is a feeling that is here and is still going to be present in the future.
Many people when they get hurt start wallowing in self pity which is expressed between these familiar lines.
“It’s my fault for trusting him/her.”
“I feel so stupid.”
“I am such a fool.”
“I would never trust again.”
“I am so emotionally weak. I care too much.”
These thoughts run through your mind when someone hurts you. Most times, you get depressed. You start self hating. You even swear off relationships and friendships. The funniest thing is these reactions make situations worse because you feel more hurt.
Staying alone isn’t the solution. Hiding emotions and breeding distrust in your heart isn’t the remedy. The truth is your heart is made to interact, it is a natural activity. You need people to know your true self, to attain your true image and goal. People redesign you. People help you and having people around you, supporting you in every way is the best gift you are given.
I want to make you aware that when you get hurt, you do not have to wallow in self pity, you do not have to get depressed at all. You can confront HURT. You can overcome HURT.
HOW TO CONFRONT AND OVERCOME HURT.
1. KNOW THAT HURT IS INEVITABLE
I want you to know that every human gets hurt. So when you feel hurt, do not think you are the only one who feels that way or who is experiencing that sort of situation. There are many who have gone through what you are experiencing and didn’t let it rule over them. Always remember this. Let it encourage you. Your thought should be “this stuff has happened to various people out there, and they overcame. Then I can also overcome.”
In every type of relationship you go into, there is a huge probability of getting hurt; now that shouldn’t stop you from giving all you can to make your relationship work. Relationships can never work out if you are hiding or holding back on the other party.
Also know some relationships are not meant to be forever and ever. It would hurt to let them go, but that’s life also. You have to know that and you have to acknowledge that. Do not let any negative feeling course through you when this happens.
If you see getting hurt as a normal phase in life, you would see it would affect you less. It’s not a big deal to get hurt. It happens to everyone at anytime by anyone. Getting hurt is a natural program. Make that your mentality first. So anytime you get hurt, don’t feel silly or emotionally weak.
Getting hurt is a natural experience, so is healing. So next time when you get hurt, take a cup of juice, sit back and relax and let your heart naturally heal.
2. THINK DEEPLY ABOUT THE REASON WHY YOU FEEL HURT.
We always jump to conclusions on matters. We rarely take a seat to analyze situations and this is one of the core reasons HURT overcomes us.
Most times when people get hurt, they jump to the conclusion that they are at fault. They blame themselves for trusting a particular person or acting in a particular way. But if they could actually take some time to reflect over the situation, they would realize that even though they did make some mistakes, they are actually completely faultless and do not deserve to be the victim in that situation. They were just mopping without a firm reason, over someone else’s mistake.
Other times, you would actually realize, it was your fault. You probably offended the other person. it could all just be a terrible misunderstanding which could have been avoided if you had taken time to think and reflect before handling the situation.
Even though, you do make silly mistakes. The solution isn’t moping over it but instead trying to work on your mistakes. Try to make sure you are more careful in that area and avoid making that mistake again. Now, I am not suggesting that you should refrain from doing stuffs to other people just because someone was unappreciative about it. Keep doing it! But at least, now you know how to handle that particular person and you will know how to handle that exact situation if it repeats itself in the future.
Reasoning helps speed up the healing process. So next time when someone hurts you, take a pen and a book and analyze the situation. You might actually see you had been looking at the situation from only your end.
3. KNOW THAT HURT RESHAPENS YOU.
Apart from the reshape of character, HURT helps to reshape your circle of friends. It makes you know the true character of people. It helps you realize who is who. It allows you to filter the unwanted and those who do not deserve to be in your life.
Your best might hurt you, the person you love the most can also hurt you. When you think and you realize that person doesn’t deserve you, the next step is to move on. You will never find someone like the person you lost. But you will definitely find someone better. It helps you know who truly loves you. It’s better to get hurt now than be pampered by the enemy for a long period of time.
You have to meet people, open your heart to let in the right person. Do not close your heart to others because of one person made a mistake. There are a ton of people who can love you better. Sometimes they would come to you and other times you have to go find them. Keep making friends and keep on loving. You will get hurt in the process but you will find the right people during this process, those that will stay no matter what.
This is very important. I want you to always remember that each person who hurt you, who left you, DOESN’T deserve you, not the other way round. You are a treasure to be well taken care of and if someone can’t see that and do that, its their loss! Someone will own the treasure and care for it. Life always goes on.
4. STAY AWAY FROM ANYTHING THAT REMINDS OF THE HURT.
The moment you get hurt or you feel hurt, the first thing you should do is get as far away as possible from the person causing the hurt. Now make sure you leave in a gentle manner to avoid any more trouble. You might not care about the person at that moment and will want to inflict pain on that person too, but you have to rein your emotions. Restraint is your greatest weapon.
Take a walk, listen to music that can calm you, take deep breaths and try to control the emotions overwhelming you. Let the breeze touch your hot angry body and calm your nerves. Note, please restrain from sad songs at that moment. They will not help the situation, neither will they make you feel any better. Do stuffs that make you happy. Dance in the street. And when you are sure you are calm, reflect on what happened. Then you can go back and handle the issue. You would find it easier and you would handle it wisely.
On a final note, hurt shouldn’t control you. Its part of what all humans experience, just like love. These experiences change us and mold us. Hurt may seem like a feeling one should run away from. But looking from a wider image, it is essential for growth.
COURTESY: AROWOLO IFEOLUWA . A feminist that likes to sharpen her thoughts through writing ❤️
Don’t forget to share .
Thank you for reading ❤️🍇